waiting for my country assignment...

this trepidation
       positive dread
       anything-but-listless feeling

these butterflies

these minutes and hours
         days and weeks

when you anticipate
                         anxiously
                                  with sweaty palms and wonderful fear

the news you've been
waiting for
preparing for
moving for
changing for

the news you have
prayed over
cried over
giddied over
           your whole adult life

the news of What Next
                    Where Next

am i the bride before the wedding?
where these wide-eyed moments are sweetest?

will i be the bride
                       after the wedding
when the Event is over
and she finds herself wondering
                                                 where it all went.

all these God-given
  u  t  r  l  e
b  t  e  f  i   s
that keep me afloat
waiting for
The Next.