The emotional toll sets in when you least expect it.
Like when you're running between stores trying to be a good steward, trying to find a few good outfits for the next 3 sizes for your kids and enough socks to last 3.5 years for each person in the family and wondering if your daugher will even like the few articles of clothing you're taking over because she's not picky now but maybe someday she will be and trying to find only items on sale for $2.99 and I know my 7 year-old sports Angry Birds but do I buy something with Angry Birds for 2 years down the road? Do 9 year olds wear Angry Birds? Will Angry Birds still even be a thing in 2 years? And...
The emotional toll sets in when you least expect it.
Like when you're laying all these clothes out in the basement to take inventory....there's winter in Lesotho, you know. So did I get enough long-sleeved shirts for Sawyer for size 8, 9, 10? And what about shoes? He's a size 1 now...I have no idea how fast they grow...will he need a size 2 and 3 and that's it? Or do I need to get some size 4 and 5? How big will my 7 year-old be in 3.5 years?
And I'm taking this inventory...sorting the size 8 and 10 shorts and reminding myself that I forgot to get him swimtrunks for next year...and I think, "I should be out spending time with my lovelies and my friendlies. The ones I won't see for so long. Why am I counting gym shorts and short-sleeved shirts?"
And I remember.
I remember that I count the shirts and the socks and the cargo pants because this is part of it. This is part of going to the ends of the earth. The counting, the toll, the sorting, the remembering. This is part of what I'm called to as a missionary mom. And when I look at it like that, I know I can do this. I know I can because He has called me to do exactly this for today.
"Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
